i have been tuning in
the vertebrae attaching
my head atop my body
not with thinking how
but instead granting
the body full control
   to release
   all i have
concerned in storage
freeing the grip 
one memory each
to slowly unwind
to the present

i intend
being away
in my today
elsewhere
unhindered
by normal
definitions
like a pill
with a switch
holding me
predictably
at peace
if only
briefly

i dreamed last night
you were stretching
the side of your foot
   against my own
deeply relaxing all up
the legs and hips
as abdomens tightened
   and let go

you never struck me
as a man lacking
confidence in you
when you had so much
   with me
   
i would have found it
   with you
before the inevitable
test of character
made you feel alone
   and
i would have understood
rather than conclude
   you were weak