you always believed
   you had
the Ultimate answers
and i always listened
knowing better
we know less, and a little
   more
but it never mattered
really because we
secretly had the same
t-shirt we never wore
at the same time
because despite it all
we were embarrassed
how much we cared

when i heard
you killed yourself
from your broadcast
Discord channel
   moderator
i was convinced
you were experimenting
how people would react
but they all had nice
pictures of you captured
on stream not like
the pictures i can't
make myself look at
when this empty t-shirt
is bad enough and i can't
know how you could
surprise me so, but not
really in a way
   when you find 
   a true answer
has no end