i often have to stop my brain
from getting in the way
of where my body wants to go
and knows the best way down

it sometimes feels impossible
which is why the brain must go
to leave the body to its shapes
rediscoveries of all the flows

you always believed
   you had
the Ultimate answers
and i always listened
knowing better
we know less, and a little
   more
but it never mattered
really because we
secretly had the same
t-shirt we never wore
at the same time
because despite it all
we were embarrassed
how much we cared

when i heard
you killed yourself
from your broadcast
Discord channel
   moderator
i was convinced
you were experimenting
how people would react
but they all had nice
pictures of you captured
on stream not like
the pictures i can't
make myself look at
when this empty t-shirt
is bad enough and i can't
know how you could
surprise me so, but not
really in a way
   when you find 
   a true answer
has no end